We are under spells that lead us to believe that the world should function according to our vision. We work hard to realize this vision and at times block out things that interfere with that vision.

Regularly that spell is broken and recast, but sometimes when something happens that is in conflict with our vision or understanding of our world, it causes us extreme frustration. It can be as minor as a brand new shoelace breaking or as major as being the victim of a criminal act, but when we are faced with the reality that people or conditions do not behave as we believe they should, it can trigger an outrageous response. When the spell breaks it can be painful, like biting your tongue while eating your favorite dessert. This is not how it was supposed to go!

All of us (and some of us more often than others) experience moments when our mind cannot seem to rectify the conflict between our vision and the real world. Those moments can be difficult. Like a child learning that she is not the center of the universe, these realizations can cause tantrums and disproportionate outbursts of anger.

Control QuadrantsThere is no trick to dealing with offenses that conflict with your vision of the world, but it can help to recognize we are under this spell. We all have our own visions of how things should work and it is only reasonable that those visions conflict with one another from time to time. It’s up to you to determine which battles are worth fighting and what you have control over.

It’s also up to you whether or not you’re ready, willing, and able to stop living under the spell and accept the fact that your vision of the world is not the only vision of the world. Once you come to terms with this, your reactions will stop inhibiting your actions and instead you can start asking yourself this: What are you going to do about it?

And that is the first step.

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